Monday, July 16, 2012

PSA: Two-Speaker Fast Food Drive-Throughs

I have encountered many two-speaker fast food drive-throughs in Milwaukee; all without incidence. Then a month ago they installed one at the McDonald's in the suburb I work in and chaos ensued.  Apparently hoity-toityness does not equal intelligence. I have decided to lay out for you exactly how these are supposed to work so that you can spread the word the next time you see an idiot doing it all wrong.

How it is supposed to work: You are supposed to form a single line until one of two speakers becomes available, then the next person in line moves to the aforementioned speaker.

This is how a rational person would do it.

(I got my first Mac and therefore new drawing software. Please bear with me. I know these look like a preschooler did them--or worse...that they were done in Paint--but I promise I'll get back to where I was! Remember that cute bear with Kayla and I that I drew for our debut post?)

What is actually happening: Idiots are forming two separate lines, completely eliminating the benefit of this layout. When you have one lane that divides among two speakers, everyone gets the fastest possible service. This is the same reason that certain grocery stores and banks have one lane that leads to several cashiers or tellers.

Bad, bad fast food goers! No super sized double Big Mac meal (with a diet Coke) for you!

I suppose I really shouldn't be complaining. Yesterday I went to this McDonald's and all the cars had formed a line to the right of the lane that all the cars are supposed to line up in. Not only was the line out of place (and blocking traffic through the parking lot), but they were ALL going to the right speaker. So what did I do? I drove up the correct lane, straight to the left speaker, and placed my order without a wait. And no, I don't feel bad about it because they are all idiots.

At least I can profit from their idiocy if they do it this way.


  1. Seriously didn't know this. I always just go to the shortest line!

    1. Well now you know! Together we can make a better America. Because if WE can't do fast food right, there's no hope for this country.

  2. I love stores that do this! The line constantly moves, making me feel like I'm actually getting closer to getting the hell out of there. When I'm forced to pick a line, I always feel like no matter what, I get a bad one. And then I sit there forever waiting for the slowest cashier in history or the person in front of me who wants to split their purchase into three parts and write a check for each one. Gah!