Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Gas Station Man is NOT Amused

For those of you who don't know the intimate details of my life (I'm pretty much an open book), I work for my family's small manufacturing company, CMK Calmer.

On Monday my dad/boss asked me to make "Help Wanted" fliers and drive to every bulletin board within 15-20 miles of our business to post them. Being the fantastic employee I am, I made some beautiful fliers and went out yesterday afternoon to post them. I was strangely optimistic about this endeavor. Unfortunately, I failed to take my current appearance into account.

I'm currently sick as a dog and wearing UGGs and a scarf my mother "lovingly" calls my "Hobo Scarf." This renders my wit, charm, and flirting capabilities completely useless. My throat is scratchy, so I sound like a man. My nose is red and runny, my eyes are puffy, and YOU JUST WANT TO ASK ME OUT RIGHT NOW, DON'T YOU? Knew it.

That said, you'd still probably rather see me in a Playboy spread than Lindsay Lohan, right? I thought so. Hef's clearly lost his mind.

My first stops in the immediate vicinity went well. Most of the bulletin boards were unguarded, and the few people guarding their boards were nice about me posting on them.

Then I drove a little out of town, and things got ugly.

Everyone became strangely possessive over their bulletin boards. Did I miss a memo here? Is there some sort of sacred bond between a gas station worker and his community events board? This is how one of my conversations went:

Me: Hey! Um, I was wondering if there's a place I can post this flier? We're a small local company looking for some new employees.

Gas Station Worker: ...uhhhh....We only post stuff that's for sale.

Me: Yeah exactly! I'm selling jobs! For free. =D

Gas Station Worker: -_- ..................

Me: Ohhhhhkay. Bye.

And that's how most of my afternoon went.

Oh, except I did get hit on once. By this man who looked old enough to be my grandfather. He winked at me as I left and then ran to a window to watch me walk back to my car.

Highlight of my day.


  1. The uggs have their own strange allure for creepy old men ...

  2. I had no idea. I kind of want to burn them now. =/

  3. At least he didn't pull out his Social Security statement and tell you how much money you would get a month, and say that his kids could just deal with it. . . I'll never forget that day.

  4. I had a very scary Taco Bell guy nearly fall out of his drive through window once to look down my shirt. That made my week.

  5. Classy!!! I'm sure if he had fallen he would have sued you too.

  6. Shit, I got laid off from Giant Engineering company a few weeks ago. Can I telecommute from Phoenix?

  7. Ouch, I'm sorry that sucks. =( Unfortunately we're hiring assembly workers and machine operators so it's not really compatible with Skype. Wish you the best of luck though. Tough times for a lot of people right now. <3