I'd like to blame it on my hair, but being blonde is no excuse for this.

Sometimes, I forget things. For example, I totally forgot about this post that I archived in Evernote MONTHS ago. Given that it's now practically summer and I'm leaving for Vegas in a few days, this post is extremely irrelevent. But I didn't want it to go to waste, so here's another example of me forgetting something:  


[Conversation between Mike and myself]

Me: So....have you ever forgotten that something exists?

Mike: Yes. Why?

Me: I don't want to tell you. You're going to make fun of me. But I will tell you that my hands are just FREEZING right now.

Mike: Did you forget that gloves exist?

Me: YEAH! I sure as hell did. I was sitting here staring at my freezing cold hands and thinking that it would be really nice if I had some mittens with the fingers separated so I could still type while keeping toasty! And then I was all, "OMG! GLOVES! THEY'VE ALREADY BEEN INVENTED!" And this is why I will not be known as the inventor of gloves. I find this really disappointing. Here I thought I would make millions off of my separated-finger mittens. I would have called them....I don't know.....Fittens? Yeah. Probably fittens. Because they FIT your fingers. GET IT!? Haha

Mike: I have no comment.

Me: You're just jealous you didn't think of fittens first.

Mike: Um. Yeah. Neither did you, remember?

Me: Damn it.

It's just like Legally Blonde, but with business school.

So, I started my third semester of graduate school this week. I was expecting to just stroll right into class and feel like I had never left, but this was not the case.

I sat down (in the back row, naturally, so the other kids would think I'm a badass) and took out all of my gear. Laptop, notebook, pen, white-out, cell phone. Check! It was then that I looked around the room at everybody else's stuff and then looked at my own.

You guys. My computer is HOT pink. Not like a business mauve, or an intelligent-looking magenta. It's like sorority girl at a rave HOT PINK. My cell phone? Also pink. With zebra stripes. You guys, my white-out dispenser is even pink. Don't worry though, I do NOT have a Lisa Frank notebook (only because they don't make 3 subject college-ruled ones), mine is just plain black.

And my classmates? SO judgmental. They kept glancing at me with looks of disdain. They were CLEARLY thinking, "Whoa, what is that girl doing here? Does she know this is an MBA course? I think she must be lost."

After a few minutes of judgmental stares even I began to doubt that I was in the right spot. I began a strange internal monologue:

Wait. AM I in the right place? Am I in fact a graduate student? I'm not actually lost on my way to a sorority mixer, right? OMG am I in a sorority!?

Halfway through class our professor decided to have us introduce ourselves and talk about our background, business experience, and hobbies. I'm a smart and fairly eloquent girl, but whenever I have to introduce myself for a class I get extremely nervous and completely lose control over the words escaping my mouth. After hearing everyone talk about their spouses, kids, awesome smart-sounding jobs, and smart-person hobbies like cricket,  mosaic tile art, and learning Japanese, my nerves tripled. When it was my turn I rambled out a bunch of nonsense that I can't even remember anymore, probably in a stupid Valley Girl voice. I remember what I said for my hobbies though. "Um...I write two blogs! And I'm really into social media. I read a lot. And um...I live in a forest, so I love hiking."

*FACEPALM*

Honestly? I don't hike that much. I just threw that in because I do enjoy it and I wanted to sound a bit more well-rounded.

I texted Mike for some moral support and he was absolutely no help at ALL. He said, "I'm imagining your classroom right now. It's like Legally Blonde, but with business instead of law."

Honestly? That's kind of dead on. Or at least that's how it is in my head.

We decided that Mike should come into class one day and pretend to be my assistant. I'd be sitting there in class as usual and he'd hover around turning pages and making sure my hair is perfect at all times. During our 10 minute break he'd unfold an entire makeup vanity and I'd have a wardrobe change. I figure if I'm going to be stereotyped as the dumb, superficial, blonde girl I might as well act the part and get a few laughs.

Seriously, guys. I'm actually really smart. I swear!