Thursday, March 22, 2012

Adventures on the Michael-Coaster

One of the requirements to being best friends with Mike is that you must be prepared for insanity at all times. As Mad Eye Moody (RIP) would say, it requires CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!!!

At any moment he could spring one of his insane ideas on you, and you have no choice but to hop on board and enjoy the ride. At times it can be exhausting, but it's always interesting and it's never boring.

Here are a few such ideas Mike has come up with in the past year or so.

1. Breeding dwarf hamsters. I can't even make this stuff up, you guys. There was also a blog about how to tame your hamster. The only good thing that came from this is Mike's hamster, Albus, who's the cutest thing ever. I love him to pieces.

D'awwwwwww! See! Adorable. 

2. Galactic Ice. The next money-making scheme was the open an Italian ice cart. In theory, this was actually a pretty good idea. The plan was to sell Italian ice from Little Jimmy's, and the whole thing should have had a relatively low start-up cost for a small cart. Unfortunately, the city of Milwaukee has absolutely ridiculous laws for street vendors, like requiring them to have running water on their carts. It turned into a logistical nightmare. Also, I was not okay with the idea of him spending every weekend of the summer selling flavored ice instead of hanging out with me. Unacceptable. But he did make a pretty awesome website and logo.

Italian ice + Star Wars!? Come on, even I have to admit this is awesome.

3. Sparkle Sack. This endeavor is a bit difficult to explain. I don't know if you guys have heard of Birchbox or Glam Bag, but they're beauty sampling services where you pay $10/month to get a random box of samples. There aren't really a whole lot of sampling services for men though, which is what led Mike to come up with Sparkle Sack. It's pretty much the gayest name we could think of. Mike was all on board for this project until we realized the sampling service idea is probably a fad and not really viable long-term. Not to mention the logistics involved. I'm sure it's a mess to run. Plus he sort of alienated all the straight guys by naming it Sparkle Sack. I highly doubt anyone's going to want a Sparkle Sack delivered with their Sports Illustrated. I don't have a picture for this, so here's a picture of what Mike said I should wear to Pride Fest. Soooooooo not happening.

Image Source
4. The Top Secret Fashion Project. This is Mike's newest idea, and I've been told that if I tell you what it is he'll have to kill me and everyone who reads this. So I'm really just trying to be the hero by not telling you.

He did say that I should ask if anyone knows where he can get fabric made from yarn spun from the fur of sugar gliders who have died of natural causes. He'd seriously love you forever if you have a source for that.

Image Source. WAIT! He wants to do WHAT with my fur!?!? 


  1. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but sugar glider fur is too short to spin. You could probably line clothing with thier pelts, but it would take a lot of them. Poor little guys...

  2. Good point Daniel. And I'm not some sort of marsupial murderer; I said I wanted ones who died of natural causes.