Tuesday, June 19, 2012

"And then I ripped his limbs off."

The other day Kayla and I were talking and I said something that not only wasn't funny but simply made no sense. Then the conversation continued as follows:

Me: Sorry...I'm tired? I had a nightmare and was scared and had to go on Facebook in the middle of the night to get my mind off it. In the nightmare we were in a hotel and you're like "Who's that guy whose reflection is in the mirror?" And we turned around and he was a serial killer. And he wanted to eat our faces. And I ripped his arms off and one of his legs. And then was beating him on the ground by whipping him around by his other leg ala Hulk vs Loki in The Avengers. And you called the police. Then when the guy was unconscious we went to sleep cuz we're dumb and the police got there and were like "Oh, you're already asleep, we'll come get him in the morning." And I was like "No, no. It's fine." And then we turned on the lights and he was gone! And then I woke up and I was sure he was in the house.

Then Kayla made face like this: o_O

Kayla: You ripped off his limbs? And I thought I was scary.

Me: Except his leg because I needed something to swing him around by.

Kayla: I don't like your dreams. I'm never that stupid in my dreams. So, you thought he was in the house. What did you think he was going to do with only one leg and no arms?

Me: Well I knew I was powerless in reality. And could be taken down with someone with only one limb Actually I think he would have just be creepy looking. It would have freaked me out even if he couldn't kill me.

Kayla: I'm glad I got to be lazy in this dream. Was I just encouraging you to do your best?

Me: I don't recall you really doing anything aside from calling 911. I was too busy beating shit out of him. I def got up and turned on all the lights in the house. And by "turned on all the lights in the house" I mean ran into the living room, flipped the one switch that would illuminate the whole place, screeched like a little girl, and ran back in my room.

Kayla: Seriously? When I have nightmares I'm afraid to leave my bed.

Me: I had to pee. There was water in the dream too. We had a boat. There was probably only water because I had to pee. And it was quicker to get from your house in the boonies to downtown via water in our boat than by driving. Even though there is not water that makes that path. And I have no idea where the serial killer came in.

Kayla: So, we were at my house with a serial killer?

Me: No, a hotel.

Kayla: Then why did you say you thought he was in the house still? I'm confused.

Me: I made reference while in the boat that it was funny how boating to downtown from your house was so much faster than driving. Perhaps it was your boat and you made the trip regularly. I'm not actually sure where the hotel and serial killer part fit in came in there. And I thought he was in my house when I woke up because I knew there was water in the dream because I had to pee and I knew we were in a hotel in the dream because we just got back from Vegas, but I had no explanation as to why there would be a serial killer in my dream so I, logically, assumed that he was real and actually in my house.

Then Kayla made another face like O_o.


  1. In my serial killer dreams, I'm always trying to hide in my house from them. And then when I wake up, I lay in bed really still because I know they're in the room and I don't want them to know I'm awake. Because if they know I'm awake, they'll kill me. But if they think I'm asleep, they'll leave me alone. It all makes perfect sense in my sleepy, terror-filled head.

    1. Generally I do the exact same thing (why kill me if I'm sleeping and therefore not a threat?) but I just had to tinkle sooooo bad! It was worth the risk!