Michael Trevino is a god. And Bigfoots are under appreciated.

I think it's time for a new tag: NSFM. Not Safe For Mom. Hi, Mom! Hi, Kayla's Mom! This blog is one big joke, but you may want to turn back now. I would never be graphic (well...I might be a LITTLE graphic) or gross, but you still may not want to read parts of what follows. You've been warned. <3

Shall we begin?

This week I set out to create a collage of pictures of some of my favorite ripped celebrities. The purpose of this collage was to remind me why I'm working out so hard: so that can be all muscly and hot too. During my hunt for shirtless pictures, I discovered that Michael Trevino (who plays Tyler Lockwood on The Vampire Diaries) did a photo shoot for Bench Underwear. Well...soon my celebrity collage became a mostly-Michael Trevino collage. I couldn't help myself. I shared a picture with the boyfriend and said "this is my new goal body" and his response was "Is that attainable!?" To which I responded "Over time, yes." And he said "Yes, let's aim for that!" Of course by "over time" I meant "Over ten years once I win the lottery and can spend six hours per day working out." Eh, details.

(click for bigger - various sources, please do sue me!)

This discovery led to a bit of an obsession with Michael Trevino and I started following him on Twitter. Through his tweets I have learned something: Michael Trevino is a total bro. A bro who is always wearing something (hat, shirt, etc.) that says "Raised by wolves." Let me tell you what I'm raised by: pictures of Michael Trevino in underwear.

Of course now that I've said that, my mom (who probably kept reading despite the disclaimer) is going to think that my workout motivation collage is really motivation for something else.

Let's change the subject....

Last week I came up with a great idea for a TV series. I'm still working on my novel, but I would like to try my hand at TV too and I thought I had an ingenious idea! Recently my parents have revealed an obsession of their own: the Animal Planet series Finding Bigfoot. I happen to love bigfoots (and yetis as well). So I was like, "OMG! A bigfoot drama!" In this drama we will learn that bigfoots do in fact exist and that they are not only smart, but they are smarter than us! They will finally become fed up with man kind and decide to reveal themselves and subsequently take over the world. And then I had another realization: "OMG, Michael Trevino can play the lead human!"

And then I told Kayla about this idea and she responded: "So you're writing Planet of the Apes?" >_<

I think I'm gonna grow my hair out a bit...

I'm really digging the Edward style today. Thoughts?

P.S. Today is one of many wig days at work. And yes, I have the best employer in the world. And no, I'm not going to say where I work just in case they would rather not be associated with my craziness.

P.P.S. I'm wearing a powder that is lighter than my own skin tone (Maybelline Dream Matte Powder in Light 4-5). I'm not usually this pale.

P.P.P.S. Yes, I have colored contacts in. My eyes are usually a very purty green.

UPDATE:

Totes won the wig day contest. I won a $25 Amazon.com gift card. Let's not discuss how I spent $60 on the contacts alone.

Creepy Old Vampires

So I recently listened to the audio books of Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse and am about to finish reading Breaking Dawn. First I'm going to get it out of the way that I'm an adult man reading the Twilight saga by suggesting that you read this article which outlines, very frankly, the type of man that reads Twilight. Anyways, I listened to the first three books and didn't read them because I've seen the 3 movies that are already out and really don't have the free time to commit to reading something I already know the story of. So, I listened while at my day job.

First I would like to comment on the lovely young lady who does the reading, Ilyana Kadushin. She does a great job, most of the time. In fact, I only have one issue with her reading: how she does Edward's voice. I understand that she is trying to sound masculine, but she ends up making him sound like a middle aged, female, chain smoker. NOT SEXY. AT ALL. Totally takes away from the vampie's appeal. :/

Second I would like to comment on the character of Edward himself. In my world we have a name for people of his true age chasing after people Bella's age: creepy old men. Just after learning Edward's true age I sent a message to Kayla:

Me: We acknowledge that Edward is just a creepy old man, right?

Kayla:
Yes.
But he sparkles.
So it's okay.
OMG. Dior is coming out with ADHESIVE eyeliner <-- Note: we seem unable to limit ourselves to one conversation at a time -- more to come on that later.

***

I have one issue with her response: all gay men sparkle. So, in my world, I still don't see the difference.