PANIC! At the Flat Top

Mike and I decided to go out for dinner tonight. I asked where he'd like to go and he chose Flat Top Grill. I've never been there, so I decided to check out their menu. It turns out this place is basically Subway but with stir fry instead of sandwiches. You pick from a ton of ingredients and they cook it for you.

I'm not sure if you guys know this about me, but I am incapable of making decisions. I grew up with a father and brother who get really salty when they don't get their own way, so my mom and I have adapted to them. We generally don't have an opinion on things like food, so we just go along for the ride and eat wherever we're taken. This applies to ordering as well. I never know what I want so I just get what my mom gets.

Flat Top Grill threw a huge motherfucking wrench in THAT plan.

Mike loves spicy food. I don't. So right away I know I can't just say "I'll have what he's having."

Enter anxiety attack.

Luckily, to help morons like me understand the ordering process, Flat Top Grill has an app on their website that walks you through it. I was optimistic when I saw this handy little app. I thought, "Wow, maybe I'll avoid looking like a total dumbass today."

I clicked the link and began the first step.

STEP 1: Rice or Noodles? Please select one.

WHAT? Already I'm faced with a HUGE dilemma. How can I choose the base for my entire meal when I don't know what I want to mix it with? Rice? Noodles? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!! I expressed my panic to Mike and he said he always gets noodles. So, I picked noodles.

STEP 2: Vegetables. Please select your favorite vegetables.

I took a deep breath. Okay, you can do this Kayla. It's just 5 pictures of vegetables. Click on the ones you like. Only...what the FUCK is number 4 supposed to be a picture of? It looks like a tortilla chip. OMG WHAT IS IT??? WHY IS THIS SO HARD!?!?

STEP 3: Sauces. Please select your flavors.

Okay. 5 choices again. Kayla YOU CAN DO THIS. Wait...WTF? What is "Asian Tastes" supposed to taste like? Or "Allergy Friendly"?? That sounds disgusting. I have NO FUCKING CLUE what any of this means.

STEP 4: Proteins. Please select your protein.

Okay, this is the only part that I can actually figure out. *clicks "Chicken"* Whew! NOW we're rolling right along!

So then the computer "cooks" my bowl and voila, it looks like food.

Except I still have NO FUCKING CLUE how any of that happened. And Mike told me that it's way more complicated than the app. AND you have to put the stuff in your bowl YOURSELF. So...great. I'm going to look like a moron. This is my cue to crawl under my desk and cry.

I'll let you guys know how it goes.

UPDATE:

Okay, guys. So the Flat Top Grill was actually not even a little bit scary. I feel really stupid for being so worried. Our server was the BOMB DOT COM. She was so sweet and walked me through the whole thing and helped me find a good sauce combination. Luckily we got there fairly early in the evening so when Mike and I went up to put our bowls together we were the only two at the station. My food was DELICIOUS. OMG that bread was to die for. My only regret is that I didn't manage to fit more stuff into my bowl. Definitely piling way more on next time.

I was asked to take a picture of my noodle concoction, so here's some food porn for you (sorry about the shitty pic, my phone isn't the best picture taker):

After dinner, Mike and I decided to visit Sephora, which is probably as close to nirvana as I'll ever get. In case you didn't know, I'm obsessed with makeup; I blog about it on my other site, Beauty Charade. I'll be writing a post here featuring my ridiculous makeup collection, because you really have to see it to believe it. It will reaffirm your suspicions that I am, in fact, COMPLETELY out of my mind. I picked up a few things tonight, but I'm proud to say that Mike actually spent MORE than me!!!!! So that was awesome and I'm still giggling about it. He got the man version of my favorite perfume because it isn't enough that we finish each other's sentences, we have to SMELL the same too.

But anyway, I had a blast with Mike, as always. We spent a fair amount of time gushing about how much we love writing this blog and how much we LOVE all of you. So thanks for visiting, commenting, tweeting and just being awesome! <3

Our Big Fat Gay Bromance

Mike likes to use sexual innuendo with me fairly often. I usually just stare at him, blink a few times, and pretend it didn't happen. Then we go back to our regularly scheduled nonsense.

Example:

Kayla: (agreeing to some plans Mike proposed) Okie dokie.

Mike: I'll okie your dokie. ;)

Kayla: ;) Promises Promises.

Mike: =/ I love you, but ew.

Kayla: =/ I know, right?

See, I've never been remotely attracted to Mike because I knew he was gay before I met him. He immediately went into the "friends" box because I don't like to waste my time romancing the unromanceable. But Mike and I have this really strange relationship where we flirt with each other, go out on dates, and cuddle. The other day we were both exhausted and all we wanted to do was go sleep in the same bed together. It's sick. It's strange. And I don't know how we're ever going to survive without each other.

I mentioned to Mike that it's like we have a bromance except for the fact that we're not bros.

Just think about it. I know you've seen some real bros out there that just freaking love each other. If they weren't so afraid of looking gay they'd probably snuggle and go on movie dates just like Mike and me. The only difference is that with us, Mike's gay and I'm a girl. When we go places people just probably think I'm an idiot who doesn't realize that my boyfriend likes dudes. I'm fine with that.

Honestly, I just love having someone who will cut a bitch if they mess with me and not expect sexual favors in return. I might honestly be single forever, simply because Mike treats me so well. I'm spoiled. And I'm okay with that. If my gay best friend treats me like a princess, I'd better expect someone I'm in a romantic relationship with to treat me like a queen. Creepers, losers, and assholes need not apply.